Really, honestly I don’t drink that much. Not as much as I should really. In light of this I still feel compelled to let ya all know that there are some really good reasons I have developed a close personal relationship with a goose, a scantily clad grape and barley, wonderful barley.
1. Two teenagers. Really does the list need to go on from here?
2. One girl, four boys – three bathrooms.
3. Catty chicks, crazy neighbour ladies and bitches (three for one).
4. Kids sports – mostly parents of the kids in sports (psst – your kid is NOT the next Sidney)
5. Bad drivers - Hey AssHat its against the law to text and drive!
6. Liar, liar pants on fire.
7. Boys – yes, I said it.
8. Cellulite – really ladies – more you drink, less you have.
9. Sunshine – (no I will not add rainbows) Who doesn’t love to have a bevy when the sun finally comes out after months and months and months of freaking endless, relentless rain?
10. I am almost positive after a couple of cups you are skinnier. Slender yes?
10.1 Teenagers – again. They are dumb. Seriously, find one who isn’t and I will retract. Oh and they smell. Did I mention they are not very smart? Yes. I. Think. I. Did.
