My Old Friend Murphy

Yes, you all know him!  Everyone, I assume, has a friend named Murphy.  My pal reared his ugly head this week.  You see, I got this asinine idea that I needed to do the Grouse Grind on my birthday.  For those of you not familiar with the Grind, that sucker is a 2.9 kilometre trail up the face of Grouse Mountain commonly referred to as "Mother Nature's Stairmaster"! (part of this insane idea came from just reading the book "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed.  Chick is amazing and powerful.  I, however, am not!)   I have only climbed it once before and it wasn't easy then.  Why the hell I think I can do it now is ridiculous.  If anything I am less fit and am sporting an even larger "party bubble" (in quotes because that is not mine, I stole it from a friend) than last year.  Where is my buddy Murphy?  Well, in light of the fact that I have proclaimed my self "mountain woman' and my money sucking children have decided to come with me, I decide I better not embarrass myself more than usual and start training.  Heck, I have a month, I should be golden.  This is the part where Murph comes a knockin.  Three days into my intensive training (figure of speech, as you probably guessed) I hurt my back.  I did not just hurt the sucker, it's clearly "out" and I cannot sit down for to long without shooting pain and then walking around like the Hunchback!  I suppose the good in this is that I am standing an awful lot and that has to be burning calories.  One would think right?  (or is that offset by the medicinal wine I have been drinking?)  Two lessons learned with this one: next time I  get a wacked out idea to do something exercisy I will talk to someone rational before opening up my big trap and committing AND next year I will go back to my previous years birthday celebrations and go to Coach and buy myself a new birthday bag!

Bulldogs?

This is a delicious Mexican Bulldog



and this ........

 

is a Ghetto Bulldog

 

(Ghetto Bulldog courtesy of Killer's Parents - who I understand do not live in the Ghetto but enjoy the selection of  beverages from that side of the tracks!  For the record and those who don't know - they did not name the boy Killer, totally a nickname, I mean come on people!)

 

Best Season EVER

Anyone who has had a child in sports knows that the best sport seasons are the ones where the parents all get along and have a great time.  Non-sport parents would think the best seasons would have to be when the child's team wins or goes to some fancy playoff thing.  This is absolutely NOT the case.  If you have a bunch of wack-job parents on the team they can absolutely ruin a sport season hands down, whether or not the team is winning or losing.  I have had the misfortune of having to deal with some of said "crazies".  From parents who steal money from other parents and other associations, to bitching out team officials publicly, to losing their pickles because their Johnny isn't regarded as the next "superstar", I have seen almost everything.  A few of us have often joked that when a team is picked it is more important to interview the parents than the kid.  Who cares if the kid isn't the next Sidney Crosby or Gait off spring, if his parents are awesome and like to have a good time - he's in (or she, don't want to be sexist). 

So that leads me to this past LAX season.  Most of us are sorry to see it end.  Not only was the team rocking out the wins and the coaches were amazing but the crazy group of kids all got along so well it was a bit of a shock.  Usually there is one nutty apple in the basket.  Shockingly, not this time.  And the parents?  Well, some of us might have gotten along as well.  Maybe to well actually.  I dare to say a group of us might be going through a little withdrawal right now.  Friday nights are going to be boring for awhile.  It was an interesting lacrosse season for me.  The season started out with flies and lies and ended with beers and giggles.  Sometimes things just have a way of working themselves out, don't they?

Fun With Flying - Or Why Ativan and Alcohol Don't Mix

I make no qualms about my dislike of flying however I have learned a valuable lesson about how to deal with this common fear.  NEVER, and I seriously mean never (that is why the capital letters) tell the people you are travelling with that you hate flying.  On a recent family trip to California I made mention that I was going to be using all my resources to get through all the flights that were coming up (Ativan it is baby!) but did not  anticipate that I was going to be the source of entertainment for the other six members I was with.  The entire time they kept looking at me (well the three youngsters anyway) waiting with bated breath for me to lose my mind and start screaming bloody murder OR to start puking (both of which are extremely probable).  Well, what I did not anticipate was the early holiday celebration at the first airport!  So one Ativan and two beer later, all is well in the world of aviation!  After a short 45 minute flight to the next airport, subsequent celebration needed to occur so one more beer later (at this point I am starting to understand that perhaps prescription drugs and alcohol do not mix.  Just a hint of understanding however.  No earth shattering revelations at this point!) I am gettin on that plane without a hesitation.  I get seated and promptly fall asleep.  Nice.  This is the bomb...... until I wake up, what feels like three hours later, but is only maybe ten minutes only to find we have not even left the freaking airport yet!  Shitttttt.  It was all I could do not to barf the entire flight.  Of course the adult type people I am with are trying their best to be super helpful by talking to me and trying to distract me (all of which provides me with a difficult situation because if I open my mouth to answer, chances are really high I am going to barf up beer!).  We land, go to the baggage claim area and this is when it hits me - it is way better to pick just one - beer OR Ativan - not both!  Oh dear.  I am, at this point, barely able to function and barely hanging on to the control that is needed to get ones luggage, get in a cab, check into a hotel and all that other crap.  I must have maintained my dignity well enough because the holiday crowd seemed to think I was just tired.  Ha ha jokes on you people.  I was wasted!  (or maybe jokes on me because it was NOT good wasted, it was yucky, not riding this buzz, wasted!) 

 

The flight home I skipped the Ativan AND the beer, still felt like puking the whole time, but made it through.  From now on I will just take my little pill and not tell a soul that I am secretly freaking out.  It has however, since occurred to me that I really am not afraid of flying.  I am afraid of DYING.  So there`s that!

And A Back To High School We Go!

Remember back in high school those people who felt compelled to gossip and make up nasty rumors about other students, presumably to make themselves look better or to feel better about themselves?  Leaving a wreckage of hurt feelings and dismal days for their intended victims?  I believe we called them “catty bitches” be it a guy or a girl.  Now I suppose the school yard name is “bully”.  Well I recently found myself involved in a hornets nest of gossip and lies and I have to say I didn’t see it coming.  Mostly because I was not aware that this behaviour happened outside of the school yard and I thought after one passed 30 this kind of immature behaviour was pretty much behind most people.  Well, not so much.  I stressed out about the lies and gossip for about ten minutes before a good friend inadvertently reminded me that there are so many important things in life to spend my energy on.  That realization brought me back to reality in a hurry.  What is my next move?  Will it be to try to “defend” myself or dispel the lies?  Will it be to launch a counter attack of gossipy lies?  No, No and No.  This girl is taking the proverbial high road.  I will not waste my time trying to undo what has been done because at the end of the day I know that the people who are my real friends know me and know the truth.  Will I lose friends because of these lies?  Probably.  My philosophy is that a good friend will come to you and ask if the rumors are true.  A really good friend will know better.   I will not turn around and say bad things about the Catty Bullies who started this mess and continue to keep it rolling.  Why not launch a fair and reasonable rebuttal?  Because right now, whether they realize it or not, the lies they are spreading and growing are hurting children.  I refuse to take part in any kind of trash fest that will eventually filter down and hurt children.  They deserve better.  I don’t care if it is my child, the Catty Bullies child or anyone else’s – kids have enough bullies to deal with now a days they certainly don’t need to have to deal with adult bullies.  It truly saddens me that this has transpired because the perpetrators were once people I liked and admired and although this has opened my eyes to behaviour I have not seen in so very long, I will not go down that road.  This situation has made me re-evaluate what a friend looks like and definitely made me add a few more lines to that character test of friendship.

I suppose it is important to take away a lesson from every situation be it good or bad.  This was a tough one to see in a positive light so here it is - Lesson learned:  Good friends don’t talk about you behind your back and when situations like this arise it's certainly a good time to evaluate the people you surround yourself with.  

My Inadvertent Yoda

It seems over the last few weeks that I have found my own personal Yoda or unpaid psychologist.  She doesn’t realize it but over the last couple of weeks she has provided guidance and support that only years of personal soul searching and therapy could bring.  It has changed my outlook on some of life's situations.  I do admit that I tease her relentlessly about her inability to say no to people and her desire to help every stray that crosses her path, be it human or animal.  Honestly, that is one of her endearing qualities.  She never says no to someone who needs help and never asks for help herself.  No matter what is going on in her life she is always there for her friends to lend a hand or an ear.  In the same breath she has also taught me that there is always a positive way to look at ones personal struggles.  I consider myself truly blessed that she is a part of my life.