It's a diary of sorts........ if you want to call it that

Part of the reason I partake in all this writing is first because I love writing, always have, and second because I have learned that I have the WORST memory ever!  I figured at some point that I should write this stuff down because if I am ever going to hold a complete girly grudge against someone, I gotta remember why.  If I didn't I would just be friendly and nice to everyone all the time and we can't be having that happen.  There is however, another added benefit I found out yesterday.  You see, I have been trying as hard as I can to pretend Christmas is NOT coming this year and I have been given the gears by a few people about not commenting on the Christmas peril that is called shopping (as has been my previous practice).  After yesterdays post, I accidently hit December 2010 on the side and re-read my post from December 9, 2010.  It was like remembering a great idea one once had and had forgotten!  It's all I could think about the rest of the day!  I am definitely taking my own advice and following the holiday shopping tips I provided myself:  "My next venture out I will start out tipsy, bring someone along to hold my coat and purchases and wait till the mall is open until midnight and shop at 11 pm."  Freaking brilliant.  Now begins my search for a sober driver  (ruling out almost the entire friend population.  There are a few of you out there...... I will find you.) 

Resolution - of sorts

I have been pondering the New Years Resolution thing all ready.  In years past you would have read that I absolutely suck at keeping any type of resolution (as are most of us).  I think last year I even declared myself Resolutionless.  I keep thinking that I should really take action against the "winter fat" because that shit is not doing me any good.  Unlike a whale, my winter fat is doing nothing in the keeping me warm department!  It is however making my clothing not fit quite as well (my scarves still fit!)  The whole resolution thing seems to have a preliminary negative effect however as I seem to be using the upcoming lettuce fest as an excuse to eat more and by eating more I mean really, really bad food.  "Just one last time Mr. Cheeseburger, one last time."  Yikes.  I'm going to have my work cut out for me at this rate.  Doesn't help much that I associate wrapping presents with the partaking of wine and baking cookies definitely means ummmm well, more wine.  I am going to have to research food and beverage detox and proceed from there.  For now, I will try to contain myself and not add to the pending total of winter fat or winter fun fat.  Whatever.......  "I'll have a large fries with that guilt."

Me Not Very Bright

Have you ever had someone outright completely insult your intelligence?  I don't ever proclaim myself to be smart or even slightly intelligent however when someone insults the little bit of intellect I DO have I tend to not be very pleased.  This was the case this morning during a conversation whereupon I was so informed that I did not have the education or the mental wherewithal to attend a course about, of all things, internet web design.  The matter of taking this one day, free course, needed to be consulted with another member of the team who could advise if my little brain, with limited knowledge and education, would benefit from taking something so obviously over my head.  I hung up the phone and sat there stunned.  I don't normally talk (out loud) to myself but this was the one time I said "I just had my intelligence insulted!" (lets pretend there was at least a cat in the room who heard this proclamation and nodded knowingly).  After the shock wore off I phoned JCP who listened to my rant, agreed that maybe me just wasn't very smart enough to take this type of course and told me to stick with the easy stuff, like coloring and shape sorting.  My imagined revenge is to spend the weekend designing a completely detailed e-learning module on the internet and forwarding the link to the two people who need to decide if I could handle this type of course.  Will I do this?  Other than in my imagination, hell no!  Why give them the satisfaction.  I have a lot better things to do with my time this weekend......... ummmm like sporting events and celebrating the coming of Christmas with spirits. 

Two painful, thought provoking words..........

Two words for what's going on right now:

WINTER FAT

Finally........

Well I have finally figured out, after all this time, what I want to do when I grow up.  I want to be a teenager.  Not because I have some burning desire to relive my youth and certainly not because I want to be young again…. No…… I want to be a teenager because the life they live in this day and age appears to be the amazing dream.  Oh, I know what you’re going to say: “those poor, intellectually stunted creatures, they have so many more things to worry about now than we did.  Like internet bullying and where the next party at. “  Really?  Get the eff OFF the internet and that problem is solved.  Actually put your head up when you are walking down the street and see the world around you….. I digress.  Again.  From my perspective this is what "the good life" seems to be.  They - work (sometimes, because hey you get to take time off whenever you want because you are going out late and cannot get out of bed for your shift the next day OR take a few days off to go away with your buddies because you have worked really hard and deserve a break), play video games (because that is what they call “social interaction” all the while not moving from their gaming chair for six, seven hours – even to pee), eat (one of my all time favrourite things to do, they however seem to never have to cook or clean for that matter), pay no bills (because I’m entitled to not pay bills right?), sleep till all hours of the day (and then get up and game – not get up go pee THEN game.  What the hell are these people genetically like camels?) and best of all NEVER, EVER do any cleaning type stuff (including picking up after themselves).  Doesn’t this sound like the dream?  Sleep, eat, game, party, work (sometimes).  Sleep, eat, game, party…….  I am going to replace “gaming” with “reading” because unless the “game” is Pacman or Plants vs Zombies, I am not wasting my time.  Is “responsibilitieless” a word?  If not, it is now.  I am going to be a responsibilitieless teenager.  (Now that I think about it if you remove the work portion they are practically retired and hey, are we all not dreaming about retirement some day?  Huh, maybe I am on to something here!)

Neglectful? Yes!

I haven't forgotten about my propensity for dishing out sarcasm to those who choose to read it but I have, however, been busy with life (and elementary school math, it seems - but THAT is another story!)  As well, I have been working on a "story" that I wrote in 1996 (seriously, that was a long bloody time ago).  It is not so much a story as a memoir of sorts of my really good friends step-father.  This was a university paper that I was required to write that had me interviewing a "older adult" and relating psychological research to aspects of that persons life.  Sounds dull?  Well, let me tell you it was the one paper I wrote that ultimately stayed with me the rest of my life.  My friends step-dad passed away in 2003 but I always felt that I kept a piece of him in my heart and was and will be forever grateful that he shared his interesting life story with me.  I have been promising my friend for quite some time now that I would re-type this story that I hold so dear and send to her so she can then share the story with her family (especially the grandchildren, some of who may not have had the opportunity to ask questions about their grandfathers childhood).  I began to retype this amazing story and remove the psychological babble that is embedded into it and realized that, although I am grateful to have the information I managed to glean out of my "subject" the more I read the more pissed off I become at my much younger self!  Pissed off and disappointed.  Why? I just did not do this amazing man's story justice!  I have a million and three more questions to ask and its to damn late!  Every sentence I retype just creates more questions and I feel like I am going to be sending my friend  a woefully incomplete story of his life.  I am now thinking that I need to title this paper: The Young Inexperienced and Inadequate Writers Attempt at a Memoir.  How I got such a good grade on this paper is way beyond my imagination.  I will continue to make a decent run of this story and will definitely be sending a forward to it explaining my inexperience, youth and apologize for my obvious omissions.  (Seriously though, I can't even remember 1996!  I would like to say I was 12 or 13 years old then but I am pretty sure all of you would see right through that!)  Until then........ Christmas is coming!  Ahhh crap!