A New Chapter

It is always nerve wracking starting something new or making major changes in your life.  In my case, I am the picture of confidence on the outside but inside I am a twirling, nervous mess.  Of course just until the “new” is not new anymore!   This is when I tend to lean on my crew for  reassurance that I am not going to screw up or make a horrible fool out of myself (hence the emergency Back Yard Book Club Meeting that was called!).  So, thus begins a new chapter in my illustrious career.  I am moving from the job that is far, far away to a new job that is much closer in location and, fingers crossed, going to keep the neurons hopping for an extended period of time!  When I am not stressing out about screwing up, I am super excited about the new challenge.  Fingers crossed (again) my new bosses understand sarcasm or I am going to have to a) tone it down a LOT and b) put them on a 12 week sarcasm training course!  All these changes come with the stress/sadness of leaving some of my people (to be fair…. one is leaving me.  Flying off to the desert to have a crazy work adventure).  I will forever be grateful that I got to work Far, Far Away.  I learned that working exclusively out of your home office is not healthy, I hate commuting and I am, apparently, nice to people (don’t tell anyone this… can’t ruin my reputation as a person who dislikes persons!).  I was told a long, long time ago that if you are not uncomfortable, you are not learning.  That’s all fine and good when your 20 years old but sometimes you just want your life to wear yoga pants – even just for a while!  I will, of course, report back on trying to keep my sarcasm at bay and how I am faring at the new job….. Until then in the world according to Shrek – “Change is good Donkey”

FOR THE RECORD.....

In order to squash the rumours I would like to formally indicate here that I have not joined a cult, secret society or radical sect.  I am fine.  Actually even better than fine (thank you very much).   I have also NOT become a Birkenstock wearing environmentalist, an animal activist or a hemp bag toting, no make up wearing, earth loving nut bar.  Please take a deep breath and relax……..  all I am doing is not eating meat.  It is not a big deal.  Millions of people do it.  I am not running off to the hills to grow a damn garden and live off the land.  I am JUST NOT EATING MEAT.  For the most part, people in my life don’t give a shit what I eat.  Some of them are even supportive and dare I say interested.  I have never in my life had to defend my eating choices.  Ever.  Not a single person ever asked me why I ate nachos, French fries and burgers (and I might add here none of those things are actually good for you!).  Having people question my eating of vegetables and other healthy food has been an extreme eye opener.  All I want to really say is that I am eating healthy out of a sheer selfish desire to be healthy (not to mention feel good and not add to my fat cell count and possible plaque hiding in my arteries).  I understand that the word “selfish” is in that sentence and most people find negative connotations with that word.  I understand as well that I may offend some people by this selfish, self-centered  desire to be healthy.  It really is, honestly, a choice that effects NO ONE except me.   On that note, I could see if I suddenly took up smoking…. then if people asked me what the hell I was thinking, I would get it, but meat?  Come on people!  Not only that I by no means push my “no longer eating meat” agenda on anyone!  I am super happy to talk about the new foods I have discovered and how suddenly the previously much hated vegetables taste amazing!    I have a ton of friends who don’t eat seafood, brussel sprouts, mushrooms…. the list goes on, but you don’t see me showing distain towards them because they don’t eat something that I like.  Nor would I harass them about it.  It just doesn’t effing matter.  When people ask me about why I don’t eat meat and am I suddenly weak with protein deficiency all I want to say is “I just don’t want to and really?  Educate yourself about protein!”  but alas I stumble about and try and “defend” myself which is uncomfortable and wrong.   I suppose at the end of the day those who applaud your decisions to be healthy are the ones who really want you to stick around longer than the ones who look at you sideways like you have joined a religious cult. 

This Is What It Has Come To......

This is soon to be the central focus of my wardrobe:

I can dress it up with a fancy necklace and blingy flip flops.  

*This post brought to you by the "after lunch uncomfortables" and or "water retention fun" 

The Last Road Trip

I have officially come to the end of an era.  This past weekend I went on my last sports related road trip with the youngest Money Sucker.  No, it was not bittersweet.  No, I did not relish all that was wonderful about sport road trips.  I did, however, have to remind myself over and over again that the pain and suffering I was going through was for the youngest fella, it was the last official time I would have to participate in the likes of this again AND I could now start spending bundles of money on road trips to places and during times I actually WANT to!  No more really scary motels with substandard cleaning practices.  No more dodgy buffet meals with a pack of idiot teenagers and definitely no long, painful drives to parts unknown with passengers who speak very little human.  Yes, the kid has his road trip memories for which I seriously doubt he will sit back and show appreciation to us for all the time and money spent to attend these memory makers!  I have no wistful feelings of how much I am going to miss these trips because, apart from the odd brewery trip or party with some of the sport parents, I am so ready to close the chapter on this book.  Let the real vacations begin!

Bathing Suit Shopping 2.0

Most women love to shop.  I am saying most because I, once upon a time, would go to the mall with a friend just to look at the new shoes and clothing, maybe grab a coffee and take my time looking at all the wonderful new fashions that came out each season.  I am not sure what happened but I now cannot stand shopping (I am going to blame kids for making shopping trips like a living hell AND for taking all your money).  I will now do hours’ worth of university paper writing, on line research first before I ever get in my car and go to a mall.  No, I don’t order the stuff on line because most of the time, as I have previously mentioned, the stuff looks wonderful on the models on line but when a real human tries the article on it is a scary nightmare (false advertising?).   In spite of all this I had to go out and buy a new bathing suit.  Just typing the words “shopping for a new bathing suit” make me shudder and whimper a little.  This was a necessary trip to the mall that took place just hours before leaving on Girls Weekend and because of this I was willing to go to the Gajillion Dollars for Very Little Fabric Swimsuit Store.  All I really needed, again, was a top that hid my stomach, made my boobs look fantastic (or like I even had any) and made me look super slim.  (PS – I would like a suit that also hides arm fat but that is called a turtle neck and I would have been laughed out of the spa!)  I found many a suit to try on and, after burning off at least a thousand calories and engaging in acts of shoulder dislocation just to get most of them off, I did find a top that covered most of the necessary bits.  The staff at We Will Take Your Gajillion Dollars for Fabric Scraps are extremely helpful and knowledgeable.  I would have been there for hours had I not gotten help.  I leave the shop with not only a bathing suit top but also Fat Hiding bathing suit shorts AND a much, much lighter wallet. 

Side bar – I have always been extremely self-conscious in a bathing suit.  Even before I started drinking craft beer and eating nachos – or had children.  Turns out the ladies at the spa (and even a few dudes) wear whatever the heck they want and let it all hang out.  Apparently it’s all about confidence and, I like to think, seriously not giving a fluff what other people think.  Way to go ladies out there rocking the bikini…… Mad respect!

Girls Weekend

Let me first start off by saying that although Girl’s Weekend has changed dramatically over the years, it is no less amazing now that we are older and allegedly wiser.  Girls weekend is, perhaps, a little more restful than ‘back in the day’.

'Haven" only when not cursing!

This past weekend I had the pleasure of going away to one of my favourite places in the entire world with a couple of my soul sisters.  It was quite possibly the most relaxing, stress free weekend I have had in a very long time (or ever, now that I am thinking about it!).  The three of us got along so well you would have thought we were roommates at one time.  It helped that we all have similar interests (reading, relaxing and people watching among the top three) and we are all pretty easy going and willing to just go with whatever plan happened to be decided upon.  Yes, gone are the days of going to the clubs and dancing until 2 am, eating pizza or hot dogs from the take out vendor who happened to be lucky enough to have license to be open after the bars closed and waking up with a killer headache/hangover only to stumble to the greasy, much needed, all day breakfast joint the next morning.  Now, as maturity sets in, the girl’s weekend consists of going to the spa for a much debated hot tub, cold tub, rest and repeat (It occurred to us after that this was probably a therapeutic load of nonsense and the staff at the spa most likely count their millions of dollars and watch all the idiots relax in the hot tub then silently scream in the freezing cold tub (or in my case yell out a curse word as quietly as humanly possible as I freak the eff out and run out of the damn spa version of Tough Mudders Artic Enema).

The retreat weekend also consisted of snacks (love snacks), walks (yes, in nature) and reading breaks that always started with good intentions and turned into girly gab sessions.    We all, of course, had a good laugh at the new, much more mature conversation that ensued – discussing what the hell is wrong with our children, our multitude of aches and pains and the various injustices of the world.  Not to be outdone by our younger, crazier selves I am happy to report that we did manage to commit a couple of crimes.  One wild illegal left hand turn on a highway AND a reprimand from the Silence Police at the Spa (Thanks for that Scrappy – pretty sure I won money in a bet for that one!)  Although Jack and I rolled our eyes every time we were yelled at to “Get in the photo!” we will be sincerely grateful to have pictures to look at years from now to remember this amazing weekend.

“Making Memories Ladies”

Theme song to follow……..