Dear Mr./Ms. Hotel Manager:
Thank you for your hospitality and great service this past weekend. The rooms were clean, the pool was excellent and the complementary breakfast (read: coffee) was very nice. I do however have a few comments for you for future reference.
Firstly when your reservation staff books a ‘team’ of any sort you might want to do a little demographic research on the team. In this case you have a team of 16 six and seven year olds and guess what? They all, but one, have siblings. You gotta at least double the number of children checking in. In our case there were some families where 2 or more siblings came along. Do the math buddy – the number of kids just tripled. Can you say kids freaking everywhere?
Secondly, excellent idea to put most of the team on one floor, but the top floor? What were your people thinking? Sixteen or more kids running up and down the four flights of stairs to get to the pool. You ever told a seven year old to be quiet while running up the stairs with a half a dozen of his buddies? Ya, not going to happen.
Thirdly, not sure if you noticed but you have a pub attached to your hotel. I can drum up at least a dozen reasons where problems are going to arise from that alone. Need I say more?
Lastly, and most importantly, what in the heck possessed your people to fill an entire floor with a team of orangutans EXCEPT for one room? And in that one room: old, cranky people who want to go to bed at 7:30 at night? To add insult to injury you stick the curmudgeons right beside the stairwell where, you guessed it, the kids were running up and down the stairs from the room to the pool, pool to the room. Who the heck goes on vacation to stay in a hotel room and go to bed that early? And where do these people come from who feel compelled to yell at little kids. Bed and breakfast people, bed and breakfast.
Thank you for an entertaining stay. If we ever come to your lovely town again we will be sure to book under a different name, however I do expect that you will take my suggestions into consideration.
Yours truly,
Team Manager
