The Rosie Project Murder

Over the Christmas break I committed an offence so gruesome and horrific I have been embarrassed to admit it.  I have however realized that confessing is part of the healing process so here you go……

The bloody Rosie Project

Even though I have my E-Library and love the convenience of just being able to order a book online any time, I still do hit the library from time to time.  I don’t actually GO to the library to look for books to read (except to pick up and drop off) no, I do all my library perusing from the comfort of my home on the computer.  I request a hold on the books I want to read and wait, sometimes for months, for the damn things to come in.   They send me an email telling me my book is in and I hustle down to the library and pick it up.  I don’t even need to communicate with humans once during this entire transaction!  The library has a fancy self check out machine!   Doesn’t get any better than that.  Of course the only issue with this system is that sometimes I have to stop reading a book to start reading the library book!  So all this gibberish leads to the library book I pick up over the break.  I was pretty excited about this one.  It’s a new best seller that screamed whimsical!  Everyone can use a little whimsy every once and awhile.  A few days into reading the book I suffer from a spontaneous nose bleed.  Freaky, profuse blood spurt.  Gross really when you think about it.  It was all I could do to get the book out of my way and get to the bathroom!  Of course you can imagine that the book did not go unscathed.  One single drip of blood lands on the paper side of the spine.  Just bloody great.  Of course I make the spot bigger by rubbing it in panic and now I have a smudge of blood on the spine!  Crap.  I probably spent 20 minutes trying my damndest to get that stain out only to realize I was starting to damage the pages!  I felt sick.  Here I had damaged a best selling book that has a wait list six miles long!  It took me two days to get to the library and confess. A part of me was thinking I was going to have a “black mark” on my squeaky clean library record.  I am now the proud owner of a slightly yucky library book that cost me $27.99.  What pisses me off more is that if I had just ordered the thing on my e-account it would have only cost me $13.99.   To make matters worse two days after I paid for the book I get an email from the library saying one of my reserves was in (I was relieved that I did not get kicked out of the secret society of library users) to which I pick up and bring home only to see that the “new” book looks like someone dropped it in the tub!  All the pages are warped and mangled and the final cherry on top – there is a stamp on the inside that says "October 2013 – water damage"!  Really?  That book is a hundred times worse than my DNA infested damaged book.  Think that person did a drop and run?  Oh well, I suppose I could “rent” out my new “Bloody” book to all my friends to re-coup my $27.99, or just keep it in my library as a reminder that sometimes honesty is the best policy – but it’s gonna cost ya.