So you all know my feelings about those stupid resolutions that we all insist on making at the beginning of every year. No one keeps them! Seriously. I just read something in O Magazine that asked if you are making a new years resolution for 2014 and whether you have made the same resolution before? Well, have you? I certainly have. It sort of pisses me off that I would waste a perfectly good resolution on something that I will never (apparently) follow through on. This year I decided to change it up and try to fix a major deficiency that has been plaguing me for at least twenty years. I know I am usually a sunshiny, happy person (stop laughing) but the bouts of insomnia I go through are seriously starting to effect my memory and my chipper personality. Part of the reason I have decided this issue is in serious need of fixing is the recent research that has been put out to the world about the connection between sleep deprivation and dementia in later life. Apparently, while we sleep our brains have "a chance to clear out potentially harmful waste that build up while you're awake. This waste includes amyloid beta - a driver of Alzheimer's." While we sleep there are fancy little "janitors" that "take out the trash" and clean all the crap up! Amazing! This however does not bode well for me with my lack of sleep on a daily basis. My neuron holder if full of brain crap and sleep is the toilet! So after consulting with a fellow ex-insomniac, I get the "rules" for fixing myself up. Oh boy. No wonder my sleep is messed up! Here are just some of the rules I am required to follow and the Except Fors that I will be instituting:
1. Get up at the same time every morning - sounds easy? Except for so far I am sucking at this endeavour. Must try harder.....
2. Go to bed only when you feel sleepy - really? Except for I go to bed to get away from the testosterone fest that is my home. I will have to start locking myself in my office.
3. Avoid naps - You guessed it, this also has been a struggle but I have managed to not pass out at all over the last seven days. The cats however, are pissed about this one as I am their favourite napping buddy.
4. Avoid caffeine, alcohol and tobacco in the evening - well not smoking is easy since I don't touch the stuff but I really wish this rule list would define "evening".
5. Have a cool, quiet, dark bedroom - again, really? If I can get one of the older money suckers to stop playing video games until 3:00 am every day I would be able to complete this one. Not. Going. To. Happen.
There are more items (13 in fact) but I won't bore you with them. It did however, occur to me after reading "repeating a nonsense phrase or saying "one" to yourself repeatedly, induces a relaxation response which helps promote sleep" that the sheep I try to count at night keep stopping on the other side of the fence and asking me questions and then, of course, I have to think about the answer. I will be looking for much dumber sheep or at the very least quiet ones!
Happy New Year and I hope you keep the resolution you set for yourself. You only get one a year baby. Don't squander it!
(References from The University of Rochester Medical Centre for Translational Neuromedicine study and Vancouver Coastal Health Sleep Disorders Program, just so ya know.)
