A couple of weeks back a good friend and I booked appointments for much needed pedicures. Much needed by her because the beeotch was going on a Mexican vacation shortly after (no jealousy here!) and I because all the miles I have put in running are completely destroying my feet! This adventure is always one of the most exciting yearly activities for me. Not only do we leave the spa with beautiful toes but we then proceed directly to a martini serving establishment which, in the past, has required us to call one of our off-spring to come get us because we won't drive under the influence of vodka! This year was no different however it did include the introduction of the Most Knowledgeable Esthetician EVER......
Shortly after arriving at said spa, as per usual custom, the nail lady asks how short you want your nails. I proceed to say "as short as possible so they don't turn black when I run". To which starts a litany of unwanted exercise/shoe/nutrition/health advice! Starting with "you know exercise isn't that good for you. You are not going to lose weight exercising. You should just change your diet." Momma say what? Hmmm. First off, who said anything about running to lose weight? Did I tell you I was on Weight Watchers? No. She then proceeded to tell me that she exercised in the past and it was super bad for her body and once she started eating better and NOT exercising that's when she lost weight. Seriously. I looked over at my friend in the next chair with her quiet, "not getting all up in your business" esthetician and she looked at me like "do you effing believe this?" I couldn't. All I really wanted to do was spend my time enjoying a nice glass of wine and having someone else paint my damn toes! Well if Miss IKnowEverything doesn't then proceed to tell me that a. I shouldn't run on pavement b. I should buy shoes a size bigger and put cushiony insoles in them c. I should also put cotton balls in the toes of my one size bigger shoes so my toes don't get crushed and d. I am really fat (totally making this one up, but I can't lie, she did seem to be implying I was fat!).
Right at the start of this little adventure my soon to be sporting a suntan friend decided to intervene in order to prevent me from going from zero to "I am going to fuck you up with words lady" and took it upon herself to counter pretty much everything Miss University Degree in Everything had to say! (This is what a good friend she is. She took the liberty of intellectual knowledge slamming this lady so I could essentially check out mentally. Possibly because she was soon to be sitting on a beach drinking all sorts of tequila and I would be sitting here in the rain, crying.)
The night turned out to be awesome. Martinis, pretty blue toes and great company. Oh and a story to tell. Nothing wrong with all that!
(PS - Every single female type person I have told about this adventure gets extremely pissed off. Mostly because the spa we went to is one of the most costly and one would expect better, more respectful service than that and one of the best parts of the pedicure experience is to relax and get a little pampered, NOT defend yourself and walk out feeling fat!)
