July 29, 2016

GoatGate - The Next Crisis

Yup, you read that right.  GoatGate.  I am currently in the midst of a very large "disagreement" with Hawkgirl regarding the visiting of actual, live goats on my next visit to her home.   I started out being quite open to the idea of visiting the goats (coincidently, none of Hawkgirls family want to go with her to the "goat farm".  Should have been my first clue that something was amiss!) I really had this vision of being safely on the other side of a fence and admiring the goats from afar.  Alas, I was so wrong.  So, so wrong.  Apparently, Hawkgirl wants to "snuggle" with the goats!  What the hell?  Goats are:  smelly, bitey and grossly unpredictable creatures whom, I assume, eat anything!  They are land seagulls.  After explaining to Ms. Hawk that I had no interest in Googling goat bite medical procedures and post-goat visit hand hygiene protocol, she promptly informed me that she was re-evaluating our friendship (because clearly she loves all things animal and I love all things not smelly and bitey!)  I did, throughout the entire conversation have "I will not visit goats Sam I Am, not in a house, not with a mouse, not in a......" well you get it.  As soon as I was informed that I needed to pack old clothing on my vacation, I again protested.  What the hell?  No one wants to pack old clothing with the intention of getting dirty on their vacation (unless, of course, you dig that kinda thing, which is ridiculous!)

 IF Goatgate comes to a peaceful end I will report back.  IF I end up in the emergency room of the tiny hospital in Hawkgirls home town you can BET you will be hearing about it.
 


This is NOT a PET!!!!