Goodbye My Mudder Friend

“Hey… how was Mudder this year?”  I am at a serious loss of words when it comes to this answer.  I have all kinds of swear words and exclamations of stupidity but honestly I cannot eloquently explain what an incredibly bad idea it is for old people (like me) to attempt Tough Mudder.  The course this year was muddier and definitely more challenging and, from what I could see, there were many more people walking around with injuries (except for one fella who broke his knee, all injured parties kept on plugging through the 20 km of pure hell).  It took about ten minutes after the start before I firmly decided that this would forever be my last Mudder.  I tried to embrace the experience and all that crap but after being in freezing cold water, knee high mud, blood sucking killer mosquitos and on and off rain for over five hours I lost my ability to be positive about enjoying anything.  Some idiot on the course started talking about a hot tub and that was all I could think of for at least two hours.   Why couldn’t they have an obstacle with a bloody hot tub?  Or warm, furry blankets?  Of course it did not help my situation at all that I fell off the back side of the Balls To The Wall obstacle and hurt myself (coincidentally this was the same place the fella broke his knee in within seconds of my fall so I do feel very grateful I just wounded my back and all my internal organs and did not break any bones.  Always something to be grateful for!)    Yes, I did finish (although I had to skip a few of the obstacles after my Humpty Dumpty off the wall) and that in itself is a huge accomplishment however my Muddering days are officially over.  Next year I am going to help coach.  That seems like a better idea for me.  Warm coat, dry clothing and beverages!  Sounds more like my activity level.