The Other Nine Reasons To Live in A Small Town

After much consultation and careful review, here are the other nine reasons to live in a small town:

 

1. You are almost certain to get healthy.  What with no McDonalds or any other restaurant with a drive through, your stuck living off the land.
2. Everyone knows everyone so when a local messes around with someone else’s spouse – you probably know that person enough to say you were either shocked or saw it comin.   
3. You are up to date and shockingly current on all celebrity comings and goings – what the heck else are you gonna do? Thank you satellite tv!
4. You know the names of every single dog in town. Even the strays. (And in some cases where they live, what their parents names are, what brand of dog food they eat, etc.)
5. Everyone just moves slower, especially when they are driving and you only have to put gas in the car once every two or three weeks, instead of every two or three days.  
6. You can just stop mowing the lawn and invite your neighbours goat, Bob, over.  
7. One day out of every 14 the local police force decides to throw on the siren, just so you know they are still around and protecting the place. From errant jaywalkers.  
8. There is a really high probability that your neighbours are going to be either farm animals or resting in the local cemetery.  
9. You can drive around in your pajamas with no make up on and no one gives a crap.