I have been trying with all my creative muster to re-create a story told to me by my good friend Sam. I have spent countless hours in my car or in front of my computer trying to spin a funny web of words to make even just a teeny, tiny bit of this particular story humorous. The end result is, there is pretty much no way in hell that a story about finding a pulsating, maggot filled turkey in the freezer section of a fridge that has been unplugged for quite some time, can even remotely be told as funny or even amusing. I have tried. Typed many a draft. Every single time I even think about the smell that my friend Sam had hit her right smack in the face when she opened that freezer, I start dry heaving. Heck, I can’t even handle a little mold on cheese!
I have however been extremely successful in drumming up creative ways for her to get back at the person whose turkey it was. Mostly along the lines of mailing turkeys in various forms of decay to said person every single thanksgiving or Christmas (pick desired holiday). Just for fun I also thought it would be a hoot to send pictures of turkeys in the mail throughout the year. Anonymously of course. This tactic is used mostly so the poultry offender does not let their guard down throughout the year.
Oh, and Sam, she got the pleasure of cleaning out the fridge, freezer AND the apartment that housed the appliance. Ummm I had a better idea: matches.
