In The Real World

Yes, in the real world if you are hired for a job you are expected to do that job and do it well.  Of course if the minimum expectations of the job are not met, well your gonna get fired.  It seems like these same guidelines do not need to be met when volunteering for a position, however sad that is.  So I ask this – Should the same high standards and expectations still be required when a person volunteers for a position, especially if that volunteer position involves working with people and in some cases children?  What if the volunteer doesn’t do a good job or is negligent in his position?  Do we shrug our shoulders and say “Oh well, they are volunteering their time after all.”  Do we just let the person do a shoddy ass job because he or she is giving their time and we should all just appreciate that they are there at all?

Well, as you might have expected I have a definite opinion on this!  I don’t give a fat, flying hamster if you are paid or not for a job, if you apply for a position that automatically IMPLIES that there are a set of realistic expectations that are required for that job.  Volunteer or no volunteer if you can’t do the job, get the hell out.   

A wise man told me recently: “Sometimes it’s better to hire NO guy for the job then the WRONG GUY.”  I couldn't have said it better myself!

Why you should never buy a sweater with a belt - The Wardrobe Chronicles‏

Today started out like any other frost on the pumpkin fall day - cold. I am certainly not a fan of cold but Fall is one of my favourite seasons. Mostly because my entire wardrobe is made up of articles in the morbid colour wheel - black, brown, grey and sometimes a little blackish grey (no, Mom, not navy blue. Stop pushing the navy blue. It doesn't go with black.) Anyway, back to today. I mistakenly believed today would be a good "sweater day." Sounded good this morning when it was freezing cold but as I sit in my car writing this in the swealtering heat I see the err of my ways. The sweater in question is a big floppy turtle necky sweater that came with a black belt. I distinctly remember buying this article last year because I saw a lady at the mall with a butt the size of a tropical island and thought "heck, if she can wear a sweater like that so can I". So I purchased the turtlesweater and only wore it once last season. My unfortunate wardrobe malfunction was related to the "comes with sweater" belt. All was well until I ate my lunch at 10 am (will discuss early lunch eating another time). You see, the belt fit before lunch. Not so much after. I only ate a half a sandwich but that seemed to be enough to put the belt capacity completely over the edge and the damn thing kept popping open! I tried in vain to keep the thing on and when my work day was done, went to my car, took the thing off and threw it on the floor of my car. I would have thrown it into the garbage but there is no way of knowing if I at any point would have to get out of the car and I refuse to get out of my car un-accessorized.

Wardrobe lesson learned. If you get a belt WITH a sweater, throw it out. Do it right away. Do not leave the house only to have your belt pop off in the elevator at work or during a business meeting. Save yourself the embarrassment.  Stupid sweater.  Oh, and I might mention here that quality sweaters DO NOT come with a belt.  I am just sayin.

Why I Hate Teenagers - Chapter 46

I’m serious.  For quite some time now I have been very unimpressed with the maturity and respect level of today’s teenagers.  Now that summer is very, very over Sloth One and Sloth Two (once aptly named Huh? And What?) are teaching me all kind of lessons on what I have done wrong as a parent and I am in a perpetual state of frustration over their apparent lack of motivation and new found level of laziness.  The obvious sense of entitlement that I have written about it is at an all time high.  I have been known to say quite often that teenagers are dumb but now, in hindsight, I think they are really smart.  Mostly because I would give up a kidney to live the life of lazy luxury that they have!  Who wouldn’t want to barely work, pay no bills, stay up all night, sleep all day, never have to cook a meal or clean up anything and, when conscious, spend time with friends?  That sounds like livin the dream to me!  Paybacks a beeotch teenagers and your turn is coming!

 

What Your Momma Neva Told Ya - Part Two

Why is it that there are some things our moms just did not feel was necessary to share?  Really Mom?  You might have warned me just a little about the “mam-o-gram”.   I, of all people, understand the necessity for chicks to have these tests.  It saves lives.  My current hate on for cancer made me no longer able to put off this test.  Oh Nelly!  Has technology not come far enough that they don’t feel like they should made a less barbaric machine to check the lady bits?  Come on people! There has got to be a FEMALE technician type person out there who knows something about something and can make this machine a little bit more like going to the spa and less like have body parts ripped from your body.  I believe I shall file this rant under the sub-topic “If I Ruled The World” as well because this is one of the serious medical changes that will be made when I take over power.  Honestly - is this one of those "man made" machines?

Perhaps I am a little "annoying voice" sensitive as well.......

Yes, well the title says it all.  It is a well known fact that annoying people make me crazy to the point of dreaming about revenge type scenarios.  A couple of my ex-coworkers, now friends, probably remember the “temp” we had in the office who sat behind me for a couple of months.  This chick took the award for the most annoying adult I have ever met in my entire life.  For a full 7.5 hours this loony bin talked to herself and made grunty clucky noises all freaking day.  I took to wearing ear plugs to work because I was one grunt away from chucking my stapler at her.  I thought she was going to be the only person to drive me to the point of planning to hurl myself over the top of her desk and strangling her (had my insanity plea completely planned for after as well).  I. Was. Wrong.  In the last couple of months I have had to work on the same floor as a person who, every single freaking morning, calls her daughter to ask her if she is getting ready for school, has she had breakfast yet and not to forget a long, painful list of things for the day.  Every morning.  That’s not the worst of it.  She also relays the entire message to her husband all the while using her OUTSIDE voice in a very singsongy, baby tone that makes me want to puke in my garbage can.  All this time I thought this ladies daughter was six years old!  I was close.  Turns out she is IN GRADE SIX.  Poor kid.  She is going to hit high school and her mommy is going to lead her towards the path of getting the crap beat out of her!  If hearing her baby her 11 year old isn’t enough, apparently she needs to run her daughters entire school from her desk at work as well.  Hot lunch orders, earth quake kits, soccer practice and on and on and on.  If I were her boss I would tell her to go home and stop stealing time!  Paycheques are serious people.  Treat them that way!

The Pool, the Road Hockey Game and the Well Behaved Children? What?

Well damn if I don’t have a single great story to tell about the team party.  Nada.  Not a single parent got completely wasted and landed in the pool.  Everyone kept their clothing on and there was no telling sign of throw up in the bushes or on the lawn to clean up the next day.  Seriously.  Is everyone just getting more mature?  I don’t get it.  There must have been a half a gajilion children there as well and they swam, played road hockey, ate and watched a movie and there wasn’t a single fight. 

A times they are a changin people.  Oh yes they are.