Today started out like any other frost on the pumpkin fall day - cold. I am certainly not a fan of cold but Fall is one of my favourite seasons. Mostly because my entire wardrobe is made up of articles in the morbid colour wheel - black, brown, grey and sometimes a little blackish grey (no, Mom, not navy blue. Stop pushing the navy blue. It doesn't go with black.) Anyway, back to today. I mistakenly believed today would be a good "sweater day." Sounded good this morning when it was freezing cold but as I sit in my car writing this in the swealtering heat I see the err of my ways. The sweater in question is a big floppy turtle necky sweater that came with a black belt. I distinctly remember buying this article last year because I saw a lady at the mall with a butt the size of a tropical island and thought "heck, if she can wear a sweater like that so can I". So I purchased the turtlesweater and only wore it once last season. My unfortunate wardrobe malfunction was related to the "comes with sweater" belt. All was well until I ate my lunch at 10 am (will discuss early lunch eating another time). You see, the belt fit before lunch. Not so much after. I only ate a half a sandwich but that seemed to be enough to put the belt capacity completely over the edge and the damn thing kept popping open! I tried in vain to keep the thing on and when my work day was done, went to my car, took the thing off and threw it on the floor of my car. I would have thrown it into the garbage but there is no way of knowing if I at any point would have to get out of the car and I refuse to get out of my car un-accessorized.
Wardrobe lesson learned. If you get a belt WITH a sweater, throw it out. Do it right away. Do not leave the house only to have your belt pop off in the elevator at work or during a business meeting. Save yourself the embarrassment. Stupid sweater. Oh, and I might mention here that quality sweaters DO NOT come with a belt. I am just sayin.
