There Has Got To Be A Way To Shut This Sh*t Up

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I have a bit of an overactive imagination. One would think that this would be a great thing – and trust me, if I made a million dollars off this mental deformity, it would be all good. Million dollar paycheque not withstanding, my case of imagination overdrive has always been a bit of a hindrance. At any given time my brain has had six cups of expresso, two Red Bulls and a shot of speed and to make matters worse there is NO off switch. I wake up at all hours of the night, at least 6 to 12 times a night, with two thousand thoughts running through the old neuron holder BEFORE I have even opened my damn eyes to check the time. Add a few stressors to the regular stream and I become the proud owner of a couple of Samsonites under my eyes in the morning! I constantly look like I got punched in the face! Don't even get me started on "sleep medication". That stuff is just crap. The stuff the doctor hands out leaves you with a hangover that rivals the morning after a decent frat party (and hey, if I am going to be sporting a hangover it certainly is NOT going to be from sleep aids!), the over the counter stuff is a bigger load of crap because really - they claim its NOT addictive? Seriously, tell that to someone with insomnia. You think they are not going to become addicted to something that will help them get to sleep? Really people? I would rather just be tired than have to look for a Sleep Medication Dealer in the back of the local pharmacy. Meditation looked to be a good alternative for a while until I ended up in a schizophrenic smackdown between my Zen self and my NotsoZen self. Probably the only time I can say I have argued with myself. In case you were wondering, NotsoZen self won that war. Like I said. NO off switch. It would be so much better, of course, if even a couple of the thoughts were brilliant, then I wouldn't be so pissed about losing so much sleep! Waaiiiitttt a minute! Should I be checking the big ole book of psychological disorders? Holy Hannah - I might just be onto something........ (maybe two things - that could be one brilliant thought!)