Habits - The Good, The Bad & The Unavoidable

I recently plowed through the book “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg.  It was a really interesting read.  I did however, like I am sure every other reader, expect this book to tell me: 

1. That everything I am currently doing is an endless series of bad habits and;

2. Creative, fun ways to change those bad habits.

This is what I was thinking would come of it: beer consuming = running; eating bad food = eating fruit and vegetables; sitting on couch watching endless hours of Netflix = going to the gym and actually exercising.  Not that I participate in ANY of those terrible behaviours, however….. what I did learn was that humans are predisposed to creating and maintaining all sorts of habits and once ingrained, we stop realizing the things we are doing are even habits.  Common everyday things like your morning routines, what you do when you come home from work and even where you walk your dog.  There were definite guidelines at the end of the book about how to change an existing habit by first finding out what is driving that habit (the reward) and what you are doing before you start the habit (the cue).  The trick is to change the routine that falls in between the cue and the reward.  Immediately I came up with the brilliant idea of  Cue – get on scale/cry; go for a run (routine); drink delicious beer (reward).  Sounds good to me however the “go for a run” portion almost never happens (read-never happens) so I need to find creative tools to change the habit before I have to buy larger clothing!  Is it defeating the purpose to have a beer as the reward?  Of course I have over-thought this since finishing the book.  What if it was a beer for every kilometer?  Can you bank the kilometers and have the reward all week?  For example, I could run a lofty half marathon every single Sunday and drink 21.5 beers the rest of the week!  Huh. That’s beer for thought. 

At the end of the day I learned an awful lot about human behaviour and that I should totally have considered studying/researching human behaviour.  This is truly a career I was built for.  I am a curious (all be it opinionated) person who enjoys research of all kinds and would love to delve into the inner workings of what exactly makes humans tick.  The study of habit is fascinating in that people all over the world have habits – some very, very bad habits and some not so bad.  How can you change the habits of an overweight, couch potato to an Ironman athlete?  Is there a simple formula for habit change?  The book did talk about drive and will power and the tenacity for change but how much or how little does a human need to make the change?  Goodness, so many questions….. that I will need to ponder over a beer of course because if nothing else my mind is running!

Question of the Day.... Again..... I Think?

So this morning on my long commute to work I realized a couple of things.  One about me and the other about society/people/bad drivers.  First off, I get absolutely tense and irritated when people don’t follow the rules of the damn road!  I find myself gritting my teeth and death gripping my steering wheel the entire drive.  The only thing that calms the inner beast down is coming up with creative road signs for stupid drivers.  (If you see a news story about poorly made cardboard signs appearing on the side of the highway, I confess, that was me.  The only thing stopping me from completing this task is having to get up at 3 am to put the signs on the side of the highway so I won’t get caught!)   First sign will say: “Slower traffic keep right is NOT a suggestion!!  It’s a rule asshole.” 

Secondly, I absolutely do not understand people and the psychology around the bad driver.  I swear I think they are the only ones on the road or they slept through certain sections of their drivers test!  Why do we not retest people!  Back in the day you could flash people with your headlights if they were driving slowly in the fast lane.  I am pretty sure there are so many stupid people out there in cars that if you flashed your lights at someone they wouldn’t have a clue what you were doing!  I propose that every five years, when you have to renew your drivers license, you take a little online test called "Are you an Idiot on the road?"  If you fail, you have to take driving lessons to keep your damn license.

This all leads me to this morning.  I had the misfortune of having to follow a jackass all the way down the highway who was driving along in THE FAST LANE all the bloody way!  I got to about ten minutes before my turn off on the highway before I could get in the SLOW LANE and pass her!  Worst part?  She FINALLY moved into the slow lane JUST BEFORE her exit off the highway (which coincidentally ended up being the exact same exit I was taking).  So as I take my exit and see her behind me it dawns on me that she is most likely going to the same place I am to work and this is my opportunity to ask someone why the hell they think it’s okay to block effing traffic all the bloody way down the highway and only change freaking lanes just before your exit???  Yes, I parked and sorta stalked the offending car/human as it parked.  It was everything I could do to not stand in front of her car and ask this burning question.  I am going with one of two things – she feels entitled to drive in whatever lane she wants, whenever she wants (even though she was NOT driving a Dodge pickup truck – because clearly if you drive one of those you are allowed to drive wherever you want all the time!) OR she is shit scared to change lanes (in which case get your fraidy cat ass into the slow lane and STAY there!). 

That is the question of the day:  What possesses people to drive in the fast lane, blocking traffic, all the way down the damn highway right up until they have to change lanes and exit?  (PS if you happen to be one of these people and are just now realizing that you have been pissing people off with your driving for YEARS I really want to know what the hell you are thinking and where you got your driver’s license!)

Googling “relaxation sounds for angry drivers” cd’s next.

For now I leave you with a picture of Kitty.  In all his sarcastic glory!  

The Dirty Minds of People

So on January 1st of this year I introduced you to my new Grandkitty in a very, now much talked about, picture.  This is that picture:

I happen to love this picture.  It shows how fearless Kitty (yes, his name is Kitty) is against any evil.  It also depicts that he is guarding his zen habitat from wicked poultry (see Buddha in background) and it has all the elements of a great story........

Ya, in this case I suppose I was not thinking about how other people would see this - those who immediately go to that dirty, dirty place in their minds.  Apparently there are alternate names for the two creatures in the pictures and sometimes those things come together to have "special time".  This I did not see...... others definitely did.  

I will "family friendly" up my nature pictures from this point on - or have those dirty minded friends look at them first before posting!

The Patch

The most recent invention idea for the perfect world is…. wait for it….. the food patch!  Seriously, I know what you are thinking.  I am not crazytalking with this one!  If you can wear a patch to stop smoking could we not wear a patch for eating high calorie bad (read: delicious) food?  I realize that smoking patches send in a monitored does of nicotine therefore reducing cravings but the new Food Patch (witty name pending – Fatty Fat Patch probably wouldn’t go over very well!) would be tailored specifically to your food cravings.  You could get a fried food patch, chips/salty food patch, candy/sweet patch, cheese patch, delicious thirst quenching beer patch…. You get it.  I suppose there would be a whole lotta science required and some subsequent testing needed after but who would seriously not run to the pharmacy and buy a box of these as soon as it hit the shelves? 

I am pretty sure I will be a bajillionaire with this one. 

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

This question has haunted me since childhood.  Truth be told, I still don’t know.  At this stage in the game I wonder if Filthy Rich Alcoholic is an option?  No?  Fine then.  There are days I consider dropping some of my morals and become a ruthless scam artist.  This sounds like an exciting career, however dangerous.  If I had my devious shit together years ago I could have become a very successful Cyber Scam Artist.  I break out in a sweat just thinking about what this would do to my conscious being.  I just cannot do it.  It is so seriously NOT like I got some kind of moral compass from my parental upbringing.  Honestly,  if I learned anything from my Frank Gallagher of a father it was “don’t get caught”.   One of his favourite sayings was “Do everything once and what you like go back to”.  Well if that isn’t the worst freaking advice for a kid.  Gee Dad, tried crack this weekend.  I think I like it!   It was straight common sense for my eight year old self to see that this was not the best parenting advice.  There are a million things a kid should never just “try” to see if they like it.  Steal a car, have unprotected ‘special time’, rob a bank….. I could go on forever. 

There have been times in my life where the question “What do you do?” really pisses me off.  It’s like your entire self-worth is completely wrapped up in what you do as a job, not who you are as a person.  There are people out in the world who judge others based solely on the job/career they have and not on if they are a decent human being.  It makes me crazy.  Whether you are a successful doctor or a janitor at a high school, does this mean you are any more or less worthy?  What about those who volunteer their time to help others?  Are they a more successful human than the mom who works making minimum wage at a grocery store, just making ends meet?  Who is the judge and jury?  Ourselves or others?   

This leads me back to the original question and the fact that I still have not figured this out.  I have had a few jobs over the years but none of the jobs are who I want to be.  I think I have narrowed it down to Filthy Rich, Slightly Dependent on Craft Beer/Cheese Author (or something to do with cellular biological research – yes, this is odd). I can see it now…. I would own a craft brewery that serves nachos and write about it.  Oh the bliss….   In all honesty I would be quite happy with Thoughtful, Caring Human.  What do you want to be? 

Gym Update

If you read the post with my heartfelt feelings about the gym at work (August 3, 2016), you will remember that I hate the gym and had really high hopes of the gym at work being a place where my fellow co-workers were one with exercise and maybe a tiny bit friendly  I was so, so wrong.  (Please keep in mind that I am not a “people” person so that I even give a shit that people are grumpy and rude is odd in itself.  I just think being a gym turd is so not necessary at work.)  Alas, that lasted a few months and I flipped the preverbal bird to the gym.  The people at the gym at lunch never became even remotely friendly and, in some cases, down right bitchy.

A few months ago now, a friend/co-worker suggested that we hit the gym after work (therefore extending my extra-long, painful work day).  I was not enthused at first however after a couple of weeks I realized that the lunch time bitches were not there, it was nice to go to the gym with someone who makes sure you don’t have a heart attack on the treadmill and it helps with the fatigue I experience after work (and stops me from falling asleep when I am driving home!).  The downside?  Apparently the “after work crowd” are super, bloody fit and I am, by far, the fattest hamster on the wheel.  No, it does not inspire me to work harder so please do not suggest that crap.  Even though I shed a fat, little tear every time I am there, I will continue on (mostly so I can get back to running on the road when winter finally passes) and so I can continue to think I can drink beer and the calories are negative because I worked out.