My Un-Inspiration and A Brief Reminder About Public Transit

Yes, a few of you have mentioned my apparent lack of sarcasm lately.  It really is a combination of extreme hibernation and utter lack of inspiration.  Usually the smallest things make me grab some kind of writing implement to write about but the last month I have not been compelled to see the humor in things.  Normally when un-inspiration hits I go into my “posts for editing” or “things that piss me off” folder and I have some story to share but not so much lately.  It is seriously time to shake things up.  (I might want to mention here that you all have not been sharing your most embarrassing moments for me to post as well, so its partially your fault to!).  For now I give you this little service reminder:

Why (Again) You Should NEVER Take Public Transit

So I finally let the people at work know that I am none to impressed with having to get on any form of public transit and, if necessary, I must be given at least two days notice before they expect me to get on any germ infested, smelly death trap known as a public bus or train.  I have deftly explained that I must be prepared for said travel and if not given proper prep time, will undoubtedly have to take some “stress” leave to recover from any unprepared, unplanned trip.  So in order to avoid the need for meds, my manager gave me two weeks notice that she would like me to attend a meeting at her office.  Nice work.  Travel prep begins.  First and foremost I pretend I do not even have to take the train for the first week, hoping there might be some kind of natural disaster that happens therefore nullifying the whole need for travel in the first place.  Natural disaster did not pan out so I had to move onto phase 2.  This next stage of planning has me researching the route on line, finding out how much exact change I will need to get on the train and pre-planning the cross shoulder purse, flat shoes (for the get away) and small, undisclosed weapons.  Four days before I had the wherewithal to ask my manager about the forthcoming trip whereupon she informed me that I needed to get off the train and get onto ANOTHER train mid way through! (I am figuring this could be why she gave me two weeks notice.  I mean really?  Two trains?  That’s a bit much don’t ya think?)  So I write out careful directions about where to get off the first train, where to get on the second train and where the heck to get off to attend this meeting. 

The morning arrives and I am prepared.  Of course there are things you can never plan for, like people who SMELL and little gangster wannabes who, with their hats pushed sideways, tattoos, earrings and jeans with the crotch down to their knees, talk on their phones like the are all that and a slice of bread, not to mention the odd few who get on the train who look like they haven’t showered in over two weeks and are all shifty eyed and stuff (my manager was clearly lying when she said most of the people on the train were going to be students.  Really, why does that student have a plastic bag with all his worldly possessions and look like he hasn’t shaved in two years?)  I did however get a very huge reminder about why I hate transit:  RUDE PEOPLE!  I am still amazed at how rude people can be.  At least the only rude person is my car is ME!

And a big fat goodbye to you 2012!

This year I leave you not with a deliriously stupid new years resolution (that I would most likely not follow through on anyway because heck a girl's gotta eat and drink right?) no this year I want to leave you with a few quotes from a book I just read that truly every one should read. You may take from these quotes what you will or you may take nothing at all and think I am, again, full of drivel. Be that as it may, these quotes made me think a bit and I felt the need to share. From The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce:

"Harold walked with these strangers and listened. He judged no one, although as the days wore on and time and places began to melt, he couldn't remember if the tax inspector wore no shoes or had a parrot on his shoulder. It no longer mattered. He had learned that it was the smallness of people that filled him with wonder and tenderness, putting one foot in front of the other; and a life might appear ordinary simply because the person living it had been doing so for a long time. Harold could no longer pass a stranger without acknowledging the truth that everyone was the same, and also unique; and that this was the dilemma of being human."

"Harold sat in silence. The silver-haired gentleman was in truth nothing like the man Harold had first imagined him to be. He was a chap like himself, with a unique pain; and yet there would be no knowing that if you passed him in the street, or sat opposite him in a cafe and did not share his teacake. Harold pictured the gentleman on a station platform, smart in his suit, looking no different from anyone else. It must be the same all over England. People were buying milk, or filling their cars with petrol, or even posting letters. And what no one else knew was the appalling weight of the thing they were carrying inside. The inhuman effort it took sometimes to be normal, and a part of things that appeared both easy and everyday. The loneliness of that."

"Harold walked the towns that were full of the sounds of other people, and the roads that traveled the land between, and he understood moments from his life as if they had only just occurred. Sometimes he believed he had become more memory than present. He replayed scenes from his life, like a spectator trapped on the outside. Seeing the mistakes, the inconsistencies, the choices that shouldn't have been made, and yet unable to do anything about them."

To my amazing, unique friends I thank you for all your love and laughter throughout the years. Your unending support means the world to me and the stories you share are infinitely priceless. I raise my proverbial glass to toast you and wish you all a fantastic 2013! (And for those of you who think I have hit the "man I love you" stage of drink? No, the party hasn't started yet!)

A Look Back

Well, the year is coming to a close and it is usually around this time that I think about all that has happened over the year.  This past year definitely had some of the saddest moments with stupid, nasty cancer being the dominate theme.  My heart goes out to those friends who will have many “firsts” next year without their loved one.  I would love to say that it gets easier but that is a huge pile of donkey doo.  It doesn’t get easier, but you can change your mind about how you are going to spend those “first” days without your person.  Remembering and sharing is the best way to keep your person close to your heart forever and a good friend will always want to listen to a story about why your mom stuck her tongue out in every family photo or how much your wife loved shopping.   

This past year also brought some interesting challenges.  I am currently in the final decision making phase of my proactive solutions to some of the angst from the year.  Do I just order the rocket launchers, pepper spray and night vision goggles or do I use a more friendly approach and plant trees, wear noise reduction headphones and drink more?  Time, patience and funding will all be considered during this phase. 

All in all the year provided many lessons that, apparently, make up the greater whole of who I am.  May the lessons next year be easier ones with a whole lot less calories! 

To all my friends and self appointed family – may your next year bring joy, lots of laughter, very little heartache, a good sandwich, a full tank of gas and a frosty beverage on a hot summer day. 

Whatever happened to picking up the phone?

I have to say it and I will admit I am old but here goes:  Facebook, Twitter and the like are really starting to annoy the crap outta me.   I will first off say that Facebook does have its good qualities – like if you have relatives overseas or such and you wish to contact them or send them photos etc.  (might mention here that email is also a great way to do this – and a teeny bit more private but whatever – email is obviously outdated?) anyway my annoyance is mostly generated from the fact that today it seems that people have to post and Tweet every freaking thing they are doing, not to mention (and this is my personal non-favourite) the once sentence, sigh from an attention seeker.  “Having a bad day” or “Struggling to figure out what I am going to do” or “So upset right now”.  Really?  Back in the day if we had a dilemma we phoned a friend or just kept it to ourselves.  Instead the immature and obviously socially stunted people have to post their one sentence wo-is-me so all their friends post back immediately with the much needed attention – “what’s wrong?” or “is everything all right?”  Then the real fun begins.  They spend the next hour discussing their problems with a dozen people and then can’t figure out why everyone and their dog knows their business!  What has the world come to when people air all their dirty laundry on social media and then pitch a hissy fit because someone they don’t like knows their every move?  Almost positive the term “private life” is going to be extinct along with “personal and confidential” and “need to know”.  

There comes a time.......

There comes a time when I really want to tell people to stop bitchin.  I have been known to say that if you are just going to bitch and not do anything about the situation you are bellyaching about, then it would be better for everyone if you just kept your mouth shut.  Kinda like a person who complains about politicians and then you find out that they don’t even vote!  Kinda nullifies your right to bitch if you don’t vote don’t ya think?  Don’t get me wrong – I love a good bitch session!  Sometimes it’s cheaper than therapy.  What I am talking about is a person who always complains about the same issue over and over and over again and never does anything about it.  Give me a break!  You gotta have better things to bitch about?  Or how about those people (dare I say people who may be getting a bit older) who bitch and complain incessantly about things that they have no control over – like traffic?  What the hell?  You don’t have anything better to do than go on and on about shit that is not ever going to change?  Move to the desert.  Not many traffic jams there!  If we all only spent less time whining and more time thinking about how we can do better oh what the world will be.  (and yes, I can already see this post coming back to haunt me while I am mid bitch session.  I am completely aware that I am bitching about bitching and that is a complete contradiction.  It's what I do.)

Christmas is Coming? Ah Crap.

Here we go again!  Halloween barely gets wrapped up and we get inundated with Christmas.  Every store I have been in over the last week is piping Christmas music and the race is already on to find the “perfect” gift.  It’s ridiculous really, not to mention being very bad for us!  We just finish the Thanksgiving left overs, hop from that right into little delicious candy bars only to start with the Christmas cheer (egg nog and other spirits), cookies and the oh so heavenly box of chocolates! (Don’t even get me started on stuffing and gravy.  I would probably drink gravy if I lived alone!)   No wonder so many people carry the pudge!  For heavens sake we need a period of fasting!  You would also think with all the shopping and running around doing all the Christmas prep stuff that it would automatically cancel out some of the calories ingested during this time.  Not so much. 

I have been counting down the years where, upon the arrival of Christmas, I can hop on a plane and go somewhere warm and sunny and forget about cookies, turkey and presents, but alas I was put in my place by the youngest money sucker who reminded me that there will always and forever be hockey tournaments right around the time I would be sipping on my pina colada.  Darn it all anyway.  That means I have another eight or nine years before this dream happens. 

That or foreign boarding school baby!