One of my friends has what he likes to call "The Character Test". He uses this test to rate the worthiness of the people he comes into contact with or people who are already in his life on a testing continuum. If a person fails one of his Character Tests then he makes the conscious choice to not continue entertaining a possible friendship with that person. I have to say that I admire this testing system but have often thought that if a chick uses the same type of test two things will happen: the test will change constantly (um, hello these are chicks we are talkin about here) and the whole notion of "holding a grudge" will suddenly appear. It is well known that us girl folk can hold colossal grudges (and I might mention remember every detail of any given offense) but is it the same as just protecting yourself and your family from people who don't pass the Character Test? As I get older I realize more and more that I don't have time for people who play games. One of my largest character tests is a person who only bothers to talk to you if they think they might either glean information from you, get something they need from you or talk to you just enough so you can hear all about them. It's taken me a while to recognize these people for who they really are but, again as I get older, I understand more and more the need to surround myself with people who have no motive and are real and genuine. At every opportunity I choose to be with people who pass my character tests. I have learned recently that the people you surround yourself with can also be extremely inspirational and supportive and those people are not only refreshing and truly amazing to be around but it is also not "work" to be with them. That being one of my next biggest character tests - if it feels like work just to be around someone, its just not worth the effort, I seriously have better relationships to invest my time in.
Now the question is to what extreme do you carry out these character tests? What if you have someone in your life that has otherwise, in every situation, passed the test but has now breeched security? Do you back off and step into acquaintance level of friendship in order to protect yourself? Do you tell the person you cannot trust them anymore with the details of your life or do you not pursue the relationship any more? I suppose I will have to solidify my own character test and weed out the more important offences and perhaps bounce a few ideas off a pack of those amazing people who have continually passed my character tests, as hopefully I have theirs.
