I mean the Coach kind, not the Bag at the grocery store or the Bag at work who snarls at you every day when you walk by her desk unless she needs something from you (of course then Ms. Snarly Face is all smiles and sweetness). I’m talking about the obsession a few of us have with the accessory commonly known as: The Purse (who made up that name?) A friend of mine was trying to put her Christmas Party Outfit together and asked me if she could accessorize her outfit with my Red Purse. Absolutely. What’s more Christmasy than red? I went home immediately (my manager must have thought there was some family emergency, as I was at work) and pulled the Red Purse from its appointed area in the Purse Closet. Hmmmm. This is not Christmas red. It is more like Fall Pretty Leaf Red. I simply cannot send a friend out to a Christmas party with the inappropriate color of red hanging off her arm. Oh no.
As luck would have it my friends birthday just happened to be the Monday following this big event. So the mission began: Must find perfect red purse for friend’s birthday. Should be easy…… she seems to adore all of the purses I have sported over the years. I will just go out and buy a red bag that I absolutely LOVE and can’t live without. I interject with: oh ho ho right here (Christmas mood exclamation). So many facets of trouble coming I should have just handed over Fall Pretty Leaf Red Bag and bought the chick some wine.
First problem (I should have anticipated this): it had to be the right red, right size, right texture and (with my Kraft Dinner budget) the right price. Second problem: time. I only have a few days to find this needle in a hay stack. I go to the mall (instinctual gravitation) and go to every single store that has or might carry bags (even some stores that I would normally walk by and scoff at). I am filled with anxiety. Buying a bag is like interviewing for a new best friend. It is going to be there with you all the time, it must be ready and available to help you find stuff and if it’s a really great bag (friend) it will make you look fabulous. This is not going to be easy. As I am leaving the mall I see a red bag up high on a shelf in another one of those stores I would never go into. What the heck, it’s worth a try. The shape seems right. I walk in and the saleslady, who just happens to be young enough to be my daughter, says “Can I help you?” In the meantime I have walked over to the wall that has the elusive bag and see that the color sucks so I tell the Ten Year Old, “No thank you, just looking for the red purse”. Ms. Just Got Out Of High School Yesterday decides to correct my grammer and says: “You mean A red purse.” (at this point I stop walking out of the store and look at her) “No, I say, THE red purse” (seriously honey you work in retail – you don’t love accessories like pets?) I shake my head and continue on, stunned.
Day Two – after hours of internet research and another stupid mall I am starting to think this is hopeless. I start to devise Plan B.
Day Three – I find a beautiful red bag that screams “take me home and love me forever” and I would have if the damn thing were not a million dollars. I briefly consider selling my car to buy it but change my mind. Keep looking. That will now become Plan B.
Day Four – I realize that I am not going to get anywhere with this search unless I leave the country. I love you Canada but the Bag Hub of the Universe is not here. I cross the border and refrain from telling the border guy that I am not leaving his country until I find The Red Bag (fearing being denied entry or another “you mean A red bag” comment.) Groceries it is buddy! First store I hit and I find two beautiful red friends – now to choose just one. That’s easy. Put them both on my arms and ask the Wipper Snapper to pick the best one (sorry to ruin the story at this point – I had to bring two family members with me, mostly because I would choose to spend all the grocery money on everything OTHER than groceries!) He carefully picks the most appropriate bag (the kid has amazing taste) and I smile for the rest of the trip. Even when I have to see hard earned money going to food and dream of the boots that I could have purchased with that money instead.
I get home and put the purse on my dresser. After two days I am starting to develop a relationship with it so I wrap the sucker and give it to my friend early. She is so happy with the newest member of her Accessory Family that she takes a picture of it and makes it her Facebook picture (mostly to make other people jealous). Darn if I don’t have to see that bag every time I see my friend and wish I had bought two.
Future note: If you are going to buy something for a friend that you covet, save enough money to buy two and bring yours out six months later. Then you can use a lame excuse like “No way, really, it’s the same bag! I had no idea. Well I loved how it looked when I bought it for you and I loved how it looked yesterday when I bought it for me. Crazy coincidence.” (I’m sure they’ll by it?)
