The Marriage and the Mulligan

Well my oldest and dearest friend finally got it done this past weekend. Yup, she got married. Again. I spent most of the entire wedding with tears welling up in my eyes. I just couldn’t stop. Mind you my pal decided to pull ‘princess’ and show up late. I was getting a tiny bit worried when she would not get out of the limo. Thought the woman changed her mind. I woulda been first in line to kick her ass, after the groom of course. All was well and it turned out to be one of the most elegant, relaxed weddings I can recall ever having been to. My pal looked amazing – seriously, freaking amazing. I jokingly teased her about showing up with a banjo but thought better of it and I managed to not heckle anyone during the wedding or the reception. Maturity? Yes?

It was a little odd however being at a wedding where some of the first husband’s family was there. It was all I could do not to say: “Ha ha people, in your face, see whatcha all are missing?” But alas I couldn’t because the ex-family members have moved from the camp of evil and have sided with good so I had to let it go.

My friend’s new stepson gave an amazing speech during the reception. He talked about the importance of family and how lucky he was to now have sisters and be a part of this family. The best part was when he said “Marriage is forever.” (Insert really long pause in speech here.) “But you guys get a mulligan.” Well said buddy, well said.

What's it all about?

What is life all about really? When I was younger I often wondered what the meaning of life was and what we were supposed to do with it. As a young person I always had a strong connection with the idea behind karma and the fine balance between being a good person and being personally assertive. This begs to question: Are we put here to each do something important or have an impact on the world, however small? Even now one has to wonder what it is that makes our lives meaningful. What the measuring stick really looks like and who does the measuring. Is it having a loving, trusting relationship with one other person? Having a career that offers up the balance between fulfillment and success? Is it having a group of people around you that you can call friends? A loving family? Or could it be the rewarding feeling of helping others? The memory people have of you when your gone? Your legacy? What is the measure of a successful, full life? All of these? Do we live in a constant state of trying to achieve all things that we assume will complete us? At the end of the day should we be able to say we did all we wanted to do and experienced all that we wanted? What about regrets? What about the hours and hours we spend watching tv? Are we going to wish that we hadn’t? Would we regret the time we spent doing useless tasks when we should have been ‘living’? What about the days, weeks, months and years spent working at a job that we ‘have’ to do, not that we ‘want’ to do? Since life, as we all know, is brutally short should we all have a blueprint for a life well spent and proceed accordingly? Would we do things differently if we knew the “end date”? Would we wish we had spent more time with the people we love or more time finding people to love? Or helping others? Seeing new places or experiencing new things? Is the man who travels the world meeting new people and exploring places more satisfied than the man who never leaves his small village? Is the woman who spends countless years going to school to get a well paying dream job better off than the woman who finishes high school and works as a waitress? Are we ultimately squandering a gift? Are we recognizing in ourselves what it is that makes Our Life?

No Shoes on the Deck

I'm going to chalk this up to one of the things that really annoy me.  Ever gone to the public pool and sat back and watched the people who are not swimming?  I did just that a few days ago and was so tempted to pull out my camera and start taking pictures of the 'stupid' people with the hopes that someone, anyone would ask me why I was taking pictures of people.  This would have been my reply:  "I am writing a feature article on the ignorance of people for my blog and wanted to have picture evidence."  This is what the picture would reflect:  full grown adults bringing their child in to the pool for swimming lessons who not just walk by ONE five foot high sign that says PLEASE NO SHOES ON THE DECK, but TWO signs.  What of it?  Does this sign apply to only people who can read?  Clearly they must be able to read at least a little bit because they managed to sign their kids up for swimming lessons, which must involve some educational skill.   What happened to setting an example for our children?  Oh, Johnny, that sign does not apply to ME, they must have put that sign there for the 'regular' people with dirty shoes.  Maybe it only applys to the people who walk in from outside and circumvent the changing room and just jump right in the pool with their "outside" shoes on?  Maybe the sign should read: If you step in dog poo and then walk on our deck, your kid is going to step on it with his or her bare feet and then drag the poo into the pool where you all get the pleasure of swimming in it!  Come on people!  That's it.  I have resolved myself to going to the pool at 7 a.m. when they open and sitting there until 11:00 p.m. when they close and take a survey of how many people walk by both signs.  I might just take those photos and send my article to the local newpaper.  Can you just see the headlines now:  Swimming lessons include added feature of exposure to dog poo! or City full of parents who can't read - frightening example for the future of our children?  or But My Shoes Were Clean, Really!

If you dish it you gotta take it

Is it still a standard rule amongst us that if you dish you gotta take? Of course a certain level of maturity must be involved because heaven knows there are people out there who are just flat out mean and openly and freely dish with intent to hurt. The situation I am talking about is amongst friends. If a pal feels comfortable enough to say they hate your shoes, new hair cut or, heaven forbid, a personality trait, is she fair game? Can you dish back when appropriate? What kind of friendship is it really if a constant disher cannot handle being the dishee? One sided? I don’t think it takes all that long into a friendship to realize when someone can’t handle the “return”. That’s one of the fundamental problems with ‘girls’. You know the kind. She’s a total bitch and happily puts people down but turns into a raging, pmsing mess when someone turns the tables. Somewhere along the way their mothers forgot to tell them not to do or say anything to someone that you would not like to have done or said to you. It would be a nicer world if people remembered this…. don'tcha think?

Things we know but always seem to forget

I often wonder if humans have a predisposition to forget stuff that we have had happen to us before or should be just flat out common sense. Ever flushed the toilet in a public washroom before having yourself completely put together and watched as the water overflowed all over your shoes while you are frantically trying to get your pants back on? Or put on that pair of pants in the closet and, only after leaving the house, do you realize that they should have been in the ‘too small’ pile. Or ‘seriously, was I twelve when I wore these last pile?’ What about taken something out of the oven without the fancy mitt? Or the ever popular leave your coffee mug on the top of your car and drive away? Who hasn’t done that?

Is lack of common sense carefully disguised as stupidity? Are we just so overwhelmed with information that we tend to forget the easy stuff? I swear people only half listen and half read nowadays because they have a million other thoughts going on in their melon (or in the case of any given man - three thoughts). Maybe if we napped during the day, like we used to before we started this whole rat race, we would be better equipped to handle all the important and not so important stuff – like what to wear today, do these shoes go with this outfit and how to deal with frizzy hair.