Advice to Live By.....

The Reminder in My Calendar

It's July 9th.  I opened up my calendar/to do list today to see that I had written "one month until the Grouse Grind".  Twenty nine days until I have to lug my fat ass up that damn mountain again.  If I am lucky I will still be complaining ten years from now about doing my birthday "grind".  It might be a good idea to keep working out after the twenty nine days are up so every year it gets easier? I will ultimately make that decision after this years climb.  If all this working out does not make it easier I am officially going back to beer.  Beer is the new yoga!  I'm almost positive.

This is what it has come to!

This is a snapshot of an email conversation I had yesterday with Hawkgirl (formerly Bambi - she is just getting to old to have a stripper name.  Oh, and she moved out of deer country!)  Anyway, here it goes:

Me: I just tried on a pair of shorts I am pretty sure I wore last summer and I could not even get the buttons to meet!  Not sure what I am going to do next - starvation diet, no carbs again or anti-depressants.  Any therapy/suggestions you can provide will be welcome.

Hawkgirl: You are asking a woman who has fat under her arm pit for suggestions?  Here is my actual honest advice - Buy.  Bigger.  Shorts.  It does not matter what size they are if they fit.  Nobody cares but us.  We need to bite the bullet and just go out there and do it.  No one else gives a shit.  And, when all else fails, wear a skirt.

So in a whirl of new found girl power, I went out after work and bought myself two damn new pair of shorts in a bigger bloody size.  As you can imagine I am not happy about bigger sizes, fat and getting older.  To make myself feel better I also bought a couple of workout shirts that are pretty snappy.  So there!  Far, far away, Hawkgirl also went out and bought new shorts which, with much dismay, she is calling her "mom shorts" (goodness!).  She skipped the workout shirts and bought chocolate!  Now that is throwing up your middle finger to middle age baby!

If Life is a Grind - Why Not Add Another One?

So it seems that I have again talked myself into doing the Grouse Grind for my birthday.  I have commandeered my two favourite mountain goats, Billy and his Brother to join me on this great feat.  This year however I am changing this dog and pony show up a bit.  First off I am actually training to NOT die like I did last year.  I am quite serious about it this time.  I have been working out like a mad fool for the last six weeks with the sole intention of getting up the damn mountain without practically hyperventilating and needing an air ambulance.   The second and most important change this year will be the inclusion of a birthday lunch and birthday beer when I get to the top.  Just finishing is not enough any more!  I need a reward.  (Helps that the oldest Mountain Goat can drive so I can drink all the birthday beer I want! Boo ya baby!)  If any of you crazy bitches out there want to join me for the challenge its only 34 days away! 

 

The pictures should be better for year three however, I am not making any promises!