Not so funny, funny day

Today has been the oddest day. I was happily sitting at my desk at work this morning and noticed a bunch of people on the street corner waayyyy down below. Now this normally is not much of an occurrence worthy of watching however these people were all dressed like they were holding an annual meeting or some kind meeting right on the street corner. So I keep watching. And more people appear. Now I know at this point I should have been thinking something might be up but no – the first thing that popped into my head was “Cool – wonder if there is going to be a flash mob on the street corner?”

Not so much.

Turns out they were evacuating the building. Bomb scare. I was not overly alarmed until I looked out another window and saw that the street below was shut down and the dozen or so tiny little white cars belonged to the police. At that point all I could think was get me the eff outta here. I was ok until I got in the underground parking lot. Although there were a number of people getting in their cars and I was clearly not alone, I practically held my breath until I got out into the sunshine. What came over me was not calm. All I could think about where the tragic, post 911 black and white pictures we have in our home honoring the old boys “brothers”. Freaked me out. Whoever called that sucker in was a fool. It’s Tuesday dude. Try for a Friday next time. Or better yet find something else to do with your time for heavens sake, I got stuff to do.

Whatcha doin?

Ya, there is nothing worse than a good friend sending you the all important message: "Whatch doin?" ....... and having to answer honestly: Ummm watching Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition and eating a huge bag of popcorn.  Oh, and having a teeny tiny bit of wine to wash it down with. "Can you say - con tra diction?" Whatever, why is it I always get busted doing the contradiction mombo? Biggest Loser = chips? Guess what my "friend" (and I now use this term lightly) says next?  "Hey, wait a minute, are you not on a Pudge Loss Reduction Plan right now?" Yes, yes I am. Hag A Tha. Skinny Beee otch.

For the record - I am almost certain I burn off calories being pissed off. No?

Well wadda know....

So it’s the end of June no? One would think there would be a teeny glimmer of summer on its way. This must be some kinda sick joke on Mother Nature’s part. Listen Lady – it’s been raining for months! Let up all ready. What exactly do we have to “sacrifice” in order to get a little liquid gold? I’m all for throwing a few stupid people in the proverbial volcano. July is just around the corner so let’s get our summer on! Seriously.

Remember Murphy? Ya, well guess what I bought yesterday? Sunscreen. Now if that isn’t a slap in the face, I don’t know what is.
Mother Nature – 1
Me – 0

Tis the Season

As I get ready to pack for the ever lovin road trip that I swore up and down would not happen, I have to reflect on what an interesting season it has been. Although it’s not quite over yet, it seems that just when I think I have seen everything when it comes to managing a team – stuff comes up that I never in a million years could have anticipated. I can’t even begin to explain some of the “special circumstances” that have been spit in my face. That and I do not want to appear as if I am a gossipy, catty bitch. Bitch I am ok with. Catty – well sometimes. But gossipy – no. In light of all the drama that has gone on I realized that I have found, what I hope to be, some new lifelong friends.

The year started with a criminal act that brought a core group of us together. That’s when I first met Scrappy (her words really! Let me tell ya, the name fits!) This chick is as real as it comes. She does not mince her words this one. Calls it as she sees it and has had “my back” on a number of occasions. The universe sent this friend for a reason!

I had the opportunity to realize a person I have known for a few years is one of the most generous, kind chicks I know and I am happy to add her to my list of “people” – even though she likes those ugly, naked cats! It’s all I can do right now not to nickname her “Donut Dropper”.

One member was afforded the “Fat Ankle” award because as much as the rest of us wanted to find something wrong with her – dammit we couldn’t. Her picture is the one I will take to the plastic surgeon upon winning the lottery. She could have at least been a bitch once and a while so we had something to talk about.

This season also brought with it the opportunity to get to know people that we have been on teams with before. I am grateful for them all for they have definitely been there to help when it was needed.  New York even stuck around to help after being ripped a new one by a disrespectful so and so! Now that’s dedication.

I am also grateful for my friend, Coaches First Wife. What that lady puts up with every lacrosse season is beyond what I could deal with. Her and I missed an opportunity to become friends years ago (stupid boys) and now we need to make up for lost time. In a couple weeks time sista, the broken lawn mower will get fixed and your gardener will be back.

Mid year we had the pleasure of adding a new family to the team that helped top off the party. It’s like they were ment to be a part of our crazy group the whole time. They are both witty and funny and understand my sarcasm like I have known them for years. As it turns out one member of this duo is also an eloquent wordsmither who puts me to shame! I am completely in awe of her talent.

Coach and I – so far we have made it through the season with the both of us only quitting a half a dozen times (which is an all time record) and to boot we have not yet had a single fight (road trip forthcoming though so don’t hold your breath). I am certain he has called me all kinds of nasty names (not directly to me) but he has afforded me a great deal of respect and he remains one of my favourite people.

Oh and will I be chronicling the road trip again this year? Yes. I will do my best to post while away. At least then I will have two years worth of written ammunition to remind Coach about in my quest to never go on a road trip again. Or provide fodder for the next “what were you thinking” meeting over drinks.