The time has come to admit the next degree of insanity of which I begrudgingly am subjecting myself to. The first is a 11 kilometer trail run up a crazy ass mountain, around what I assume is a lake, with Lady Gazelle. I have never been to said Lake nor have I run the type of elevation that is said to be forthcoming. Full disclosure here - I hate running hills. Even the slightest bump in the road causes my body to drain of energy and I want to throw up/curl up in the fetal position on the side of the trail/road. Of course, over the last few months whenever Lady Gazelle suggested we start hill training so we were prepared for the insane elevation we have to look forward to I, being a crafty mind twister, said something to the effect of "Oh, yes we should do that. What a fantastic idea. Great training plan." Etc. Etc. all the while thinking "You must be effing nuts. If you really want me to train on hills you are going to have to cave woman like drag me by my hair kicking and screaming because I will only participate in that activity while tipsy/drunken (hmmm, hill training plan is coming together in my head nicely now. Run to pub on hill, drink, run down hill and back to pub. It's like a running incentive plan. I am writing the proposal to Lady G next!). Regardless of what happens in this run next week I plan to fully enjoy the experience and have an awesome time with Lady G. I am sure we will have many laughs, even if we end up eating a ton of disgusting mountain bugs along the way.
What you may ask is the Sotally Tober Fudder Muckers? That is the sweet, inventive name the group of young people decided for the team this year for Tough Mudder. Yes, I know you are already saying out loud "but you said you would never do that shit again?" You are right. I was coerced and badgered into joining again. Why? I have no idea. It's not like I was the life of the party last year running around after the race doing shots and dancing on the table. In all reality after we all sat in the hot tub nursing our weary bodies I went back to my room, had poutine from Zogs and a few drinks and maybe cried a little. (Not to mention both my legs cramping up to the point of thinking maybe I needed to call an ambulance. Turns out running an obstacle course for hours and hours, sitting in a hot tub and then partaking in beverages is okay as long as you add some water in there somewhere. Apparently being pelted with hail and rain does not qualify as hydration. Who knew?) I have already decided that this will be my last kick at the Mudder can because I am getting to freaking old for this nonsense and I have new adventures to see to. I hope to accomplish and/or attempt some of the obstacles I could not do last year because of the rain/hail (Artic Enema - this means you!) and maybe enjoy the whole experience more now that I know what to expect.
I will, as always, report back on the spectacular events of each day for no other reason than to let you know that if your running partner or kid ever come up with a hair brained idea to do something athletic way, way out of your comfort zone you can remember this and say "oh, hell no" with dignified confidence!
May 29, 2016
Co-worker Adjustment Period
A couple of weeks into the new job and I have adjusted to getting up way, way before the birds, attempting to look like a normal human being and spending many hours locked up in an office. I have managed to find things to amuse myself other than iv bagging coffee into my veins. Who has NOT adjusted is my one ex-coworker who has now decided that if I am not going to be around all day long to meet his every need, he is going to show me and forgo the litter box and do his business in all other areas of the house. Its kinda like coming home to your own special easter egg hunt but its not bloody easter and the eggs are cat business number two (on a side note the whole house smells as well!). I have threatened to leave him in a cat diaper all day long but he just gives me a look like "just try it lady". I could just see the result of that. There would be cat diaper and cat crap all over the house when I got home! For now the score is Ex-CatCo-Worker - 1, Me - 0.
May 28, 2016
The Hermit Goes Out Into The World
Well, you will all be happy to hear that I am no longer lounging around in my pajamas all day eating bon bons. I have officially started a job that requires I actually leave the house! There are real living people at my new office that I need to make eye contact with and communicate with. It has been a bit challenging but I am getting used to it. Best part so far is watching the different personalities of the people I now work with comingle. I have the luxury of just hanging back and watching the power personality struggles happen. I am also keeping myself completely neutral on all aspects of office politics/drama and hope to keep it that way. I am learning a lot so my brain is happy. Biggest challenge so far? Finding my damn car in the parking lot after hours and hours of being locked up inside! The second day I literally walked around hitting the lock button on my car so it would beep if I got near it! I was beside myself. When I got home the youngest money sucker told me to just take a picture of the number on the parking spot after I got out of my car in the morning. Kid has moments of brilliance, however fleeting. I did this for a week or so and now I have just decided that taking out my phone that early in the morning is way too much work so I just park the damn car in the same row every day. That way I am not wandering around looking at numbers and if my car is NOT in that row then someone “borrowed” it forever. It is way too early to tell how this working outside of the house social experiment is going to go but on the plus side the location I work at has a Starbucks AND a sleep clinic. Maybe I can get some help with the insomnia and if all else fails I can always move my desk into the Starbucks!
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