May 13, 2011
Starting To Rethink This One
I am considering removing my February 4th post about the new and exciting lacrosse season. I have honestly spent the last couple of weeks trying to decide whether I am going to rip my hair out or commit stress induced lacrosse stick homicide. Lacrosseaside? Honest to goodness if people could see some of the work (read: shit) that goes on in the background they would know why I have lost my sense of humor. On the plus side I have met a bunch of really great people that I hope to remain friends with for a long time and the kids on the team are an amazing group of little dudes. Most of the "bumps" I have to deal with this season I could have NEVER anticipated. It's certainly testing my inner strength. However, you will all be happy to know I have not told a single person to Eff off. Yet.
May 9, 2011
A Sign of Things to Come?
Today I got a little insight into what is to come for me when I get older. Help me Rhonda - its a fuzzy, crazy place. Here's how this scary depressing story goes:
Today I took my Mom out for lunch for Mother's day. On the drive to the restaurant the topic of conversation started with bad drivers (dime a dozen where she lives) and then turned to teenage drivers, then on to first cars. She then proceeded to talk all about how I used to drive her Chevy when I first got my license. Momma say what? Wake up lady! I NEVER drove her car as a kid. EVER. Did she have some kinda second family or something that she kept hidden in another neighbourhood? Is that why she worked "shift" work throughout my entire childhood?
So I ask my Mom of all remembered wisdom: What did I do with my Blue Honda Civic when I drove your Chevy? This being the car I bought after getting my drivers license - mostly because I was my sister's birthing coach when she was pregnant with my niece and had to get my freaked out coaching ass to the hospital in time. (THAT is another story and one which I should have written about shortly thereafter. Would have certainly guaranteed I never had kids!)
Anyway, Smarty Momma Pants shrugs and says I dunno. That's it? I dunno. Oh heaven help me is this what is going to happen to me? As I age will I suddenly become the winner of some kinda Cool Mom Award? But just in my head? Will my kids just smile and think: Ah, moms going bonkers! No point in arguing.
Can't wait to call my sister and tell her I got to drive Moms super cool Chevy II when I was in high school. She is going to be soooo jealous.
Today I took my Mom out for lunch for Mother's day. On the drive to the restaurant the topic of conversation started with bad drivers (dime a dozen where she lives) and then turned to teenage drivers, then on to first cars. She then proceeded to talk all about how I used to drive her Chevy when I first got my license. Momma say what? Wake up lady! I NEVER drove her car as a kid. EVER. Did she have some kinda second family or something that she kept hidden in another neighbourhood? Is that why she worked "shift" work throughout my entire childhood?
So I ask my Mom of all remembered wisdom: What did I do with my Blue Honda Civic when I drove your Chevy? This being the car I bought after getting my drivers license - mostly because I was my sister's birthing coach when she was pregnant with my niece and had to get my freaked out coaching ass to the hospital in time. (THAT is another story and one which I should have written about shortly thereafter. Would have certainly guaranteed I never had kids!)
Anyway, Smarty Momma Pants shrugs and says I dunno. That's it? I dunno. Oh heaven help me is this what is going to happen to me? As I age will I suddenly become the winner of some kinda Cool Mom Award? But just in my head? Will my kids just smile and think: Ah, moms going bonkers! No point in arguing.
Can't wait to call my sister and tell her I got to drive Moms super cool Chevy II when I was in high school. She is going to be soooo jealous.
May 4, 2011
Crazy, Angry Rager - All in a day.
It’s been an interesting couple of days for me thats for sure. I’m thinkin my meds must be crazy off right now. Rage? Yes. Cussing? Oh yes! Potential homicide. Almost. (With a shovel no less).
Started with a delusional grown man looking me right in the face and lying and then trying to back pedal when he was called on it. Then went to trying to find creative ways to deal with a conniving, criminal con “person” then topped off with a wack job neighbour who feels it’s just ok to destroy other people’s property (yes, mine). People wonder why I drink! I’m pretty sure it took three hours to calm down from all the events of just this one day. Wanna know what my reality check finally was? (it could not have come at a better time). The youngest lad and I went to the local pet store to pick up cat food and, as always, we grab the bag of food then spend at least a half an hour admiring the cats in the adoption centre. It was there that we met an older lady who was looking at the cats behind the glass. She was talking to her husband about the cats in detail and I could not help myself and said “Oh my goodness are you getting a new cat?” It was then that she told me that her beloved cat had died a couple of days ago and she was so heartbroken that she came to the pet store today, stood in front of the window of adoptive cats and cried for a half an hour. She went on to tell us that she felt so lonely without her cat and the house just seemed empty. Ah ya, me – crying. Yes. I’m a loser. I was so upset for her. We had a brief chat and then they let her and her husband into the adoption centre (which apparently is somewhat akin to a bank vault because I think the two of them had to do a fingerprint and retina scan before they were let in.) The pet store lady came out a bit later to talk to me and the young man and I told her “Do not let that lady leave this store without a cat!” She completely understood.
Hello – reality check here. You know what: Dude: lie away. I don’t care (just try not to hurt people with your pathological lying – like little kids). Crazy neighbour – whatever, its just my yard, the lawn and the trees you keep trying to destroy will grow back - eventually – if I get mad you win and your not winning. (The Criminal is still un-nerving – will leave this one alone for now). Not angry anymore. Not when there is a kind lady out there grieving for her little buddy and I have two of my own.
Lesson of the day – lots of people suck. And then some don’t.
Started with a delusional grown man looking me right in the face and lying and then trying to back pedal when he was called on it. Then went to trying to find creative ways to deal with a conniving, criminal con “person” then topped off with a wack job neighbour who feels it’s just ok to destroy other people’s property (yes, mine). People wonder why I drink! I’m pretty sure it took three hours to calm down from all the events of just this one day. Wanna know what my reality check finally was? (it could not have come at a better time). The youngest lad and I went to the local pet store to pick up cat food and, as always, we grab the bag of food then spend at least a half an hour admiring the cats in the adoption centre. It was there that we met an older lady who was looking at the cats behind the glass. She was talking to her husband about the cats in detail and I could not help myself and said “Oh my goodness are you getting a new cat?” It was then that she told me that her beloved cat had died a couple of days ago and she was so heartbroken that she came to the pet store today, stood in front of the window of adoptive cats and cried for a half an hour. She went on to tell us that she felt so lonely without her cat and the house just seemed empty. Ah ya, me – crying. Yes. I’m a loser. I was so upset for her. We had a brief chat and then they let her and her husband into the adoption centre (which apparently is somewhat akin to a bank vault because I think the two of them had to do a fingerprint and retina scan before they were let in.) The pet store lady came out a bit later to talk to me and the young man and I told her “Do not let that lady leave this store without a cat!” She completely understood.
Hello – reality check here. You know what: Dude: lie away. I don’t care (just try not to hurt people with your pathological lying – like little kids). Crazy neighbour – whatever, its just my yard, the lawn and the trees you keep trying to destroy will grow back - eventually – if I get mad you win and your not winning. (The Criminal is still un-nerving – will leave this one alone for now). Not angry anymore. Not when there is a kind lady out there grieving for her little buddy and I have two of my own.
Lesson of the day – lots of people suck. And then some don’t.
May 3, 2011
Ten Reasons Its ok to Drink (aka - ten reasons I drink)
Really, honestly I don’t drink that much. Not as much as I should really. In light of this I still feel compelled to let ya all know that there are some really good reasons I have developed a close personal relationship with a goose, a scantily clad grape and barley, wonderful barley.
1. Two teenagers. Really does the list need to go on from here?
2. One girl, four boys – three bathrooms.
3. Catty chicks, crazy neighbour ladies and bitches (three for one).
4. Kids sports – mostly parents of the kids in sports (psst – your kid is NOT the next Sidney)
5. Bad drivers - Hey AssHat its against the law to text and drive!
6. Liar, liar pants on fire.
7. Boys – yes, I said it.
8. Cellulite – really ladies – more you drink, less you have.
9. Sunshine – (no I will not add rainbows) Who doesn’t love to have a bevy when the sun finally comes out after months and months and months of freaking endless, relentless rain?
10. I am almost positive after a couple of cups you are skinnier. Slender yes?
10.1 Teenagers – again. They are dumb. Seriously, find one who isn’t and I will retract. Oh and they smell. Did I mention they are not very smart? Yes. I. Think. I. Did.
1. Two teenagers. Really does the list need to go on from here?
2. One girl, four boys – three bathrooms.
3. Catty chicks, crazy neighbour ladies and bitches (three for one).
4. Kids sports – mostly parents of the kids in sports (psst – your kid is NOT the next Sidney)
5. Bad drivers - Hey AssHat its against the law to text and drive!
6. Liar, liar pants on fire.
7. Boys – yes, I said it.
8. Cellulite – really ladies – more you drink, less you have.
9. Sunshine – (no I will not add rainbows) Who doesn’t love to have a bevy when the sun finally comes out after months and months and months of freaking endless, relentless rain?
10. I am almost positive after a couple of cups you are skinnier. Slender yes?
10.1 Teenagers – again. They are dumb. Seriously, find one who isn’t and I will retract. Oh and they smell. Did I mention they are not very smart? Yes. I. Think. I. Did.
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